The Brits

So it was the Brits last night (today being Thursday) I had some friends round to mine, I cooked – it was pretty rancid I realised half way through making chilli I had no cumin so I improvised with marmite and balsamic vinegar. No one complained but it was pretty rough, not quite up there with my carbonara stir fry but nearly. Whilst watching the Brits we discovered that my mate thinks that the words to Creep are “I’m a creep, Michael Winner”. But over all a pleasant evening was had by everyone.

I love award ceremonies. Truly love them. I am very excited about the Oscars, not excited enough to get sky and stay up and watch them but will enjoy watching gmtv Monday morning, make a change from them droning on about the credit crunch, I swear it’s all they talk about. My favourite award ceremony is of course the Smash Hits Poll Winners Party. Not now, in fact I don’t even think it’s still on, but years ago. When Phillip Schofield hosted it dressed as Indiana Jones and someone from Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine rushed the stage and knocked him over. In my mind, any show that has an award for best hair cut is a work of genius.

But yes the Brits. What I like most is that in every category there is someone utterly unknown, not in a oh yes they’re very up and coming type way but in a what the bloody hell are they nominated for kind of way. You sit around and voice your opinion about who’s going to win “And the nominations for best international group are: Killers (no), U2 (no), Kings of Leon (yes), MGMT (no) and Wendy Wonka and the Disheartened Fudge Machine (whoooooooooooooooo??????).

In every category last night there was someone in it who I had never, ever heard of. And it is worth remembering that I get sent around twenty cds every week – as part of my job, I’m not in the Britannia music club- and I listen to it all. Yet somehow I don’t know 20% of the acts (this is based on 11 categories (I’ve ignored Life Time Achievement and Critics Choice), 5 nominations per award, not knowing 1 per category – some very dodgy maths and the help of three editors to work out the percentage and then deciding it doesn’t really matter – however I still have the post it note on which I worked it out so I may get marks for showing my working). How can this be? Now I am not saying that I am cool, hip and groovy (I assume you all know that) I am saying that it is not a fair reflection of the record buying public. Ah you may say, but it is judged by a panel, so why would it be? Well if it is just an industry shin dig then surely it is only fair to have the electrical retailer of the year awards on telly- we all use fridges. What I am really saying is that Girls Aloud should have won more awards.

However the performances are always great. Michael vs Jarvis, Scissor Sisters performing with the Muppets and Natasha and Daniel Beddingfield singing “Ain’t Nobody” to each other. Maybe not the last one. I personally thought that the Ting Tings duet with Estelle sounded like Estelle had got confused and wandered on stage during the Ting Tings performance and then they’d all decided to make the best of it. We were promised a spectacular performance by Duffy and she stood there in lights so bright she couldn’t open her eyes and occasionally moved her arm. But then there were the saving grace of the Pet Shop Boys. Lady Gaga ruined it by marching on in her pants and bellowing out some lines like she was in a nativity play but their overall genius of doing a mega mix and blending Brandon Flowers in to it was just genius. They can do no wrong. Even the pink wig was great.

So now we turn to the Oscars. Hopefully Slum Dog Millionaire will sweep it. And then what will I do for award ceremonies until the soap awards? I can’t think of any others that are coming up in the near future. Perhaps I will have to create my own. Worst cooking awards. I’d romp home.

And the answer to last weeks question: mascarpone.