When you essentially write about nothing and you don’t have a theme it can sometimes feel as though nothing is happening to you as you are unable to format it in to words. Or things occur that you don’t want to share with the three readers you have or events over take you and you don’t feel particularly amusing or want to paint things in an ironic way. The problem is then that the words remain unwritten and you feel that you have been doing nothing when in fact you have been doing too much and the pleasure that arises from small things in life (and fuels this blog) has been unable to happen.
In short; I have been busy. Not saving the world, not pioneering a mission to Mars but simply trying to get through the days without dropping the ball. It makes Jack a very dull boy. It also makes Jack (why I have changed genders remains a mystery) long to win the lottery.
Now besides the fact I haven’t bought a ticket in goodness knows how long and the last time I won something was nearly five years ago (which was £80, with which I was very chuffed) I still remain convinced that my time will come. On a very long coach trip in Greece I was daydreaming so much about winning a hundred and twenty-five million in the euro millions that I actually became quite overwhelmed by how much it was and whether I would be able to cope with the conditions it would inflict upon my life.
Of course I’d give most of it away. How could you not? No one needs a hundred and twenty five million. But then who would you give it to? Friends and family obviously then a few select charities chosen carefully to maximise good in the world. But then my idea of good in the world may not be the same as everyone else. I could inadvertently fund some very bad things indeed. Then if I give too much to friends and family they might lose a sense of drive and purpose and then end up with terrible and overwhelming ennui.
All in all I think it is best that I don’t win the lottery.