Skin

My skin is going from bad to worse. If it was gluesniffer before it is now Zammo from Grange Hill at the height of his Heroin Addiction. I wouldn’t mind but I’ve always “Just Said No” and now I have the skin without the skinning up. Actually it was Zammo scrabbling around on the floor (after knocking Jackie over) to get at his Heroin that put me off drugs. Not that I had much of an idea what he was doing, as I was 6. Either way I believe Heroin’s delicious but very moorish, so I’ll steer clear.

Watching Grange Hill was one of the few television memories I share with my peers. I have seen nothing. I don’t remember half the things that people talk about and seem to have spent my childhood reading books that no one else remembers. I haven’t seen: Button Moon, Terrorhawk, Airwolf, Knightmare, Batfink, Count Duckula, Supergran or Trapdoor. I have also never seen: Back to the Future (any of them), Indianna Jones (any of them), Star Wars, Gremlins, ET, The Goonies or Ghostbusters. It’s not even like I was out having fun on my chopper bike as I didn’t have one of those either! For someone born in the 80’s I have very poor knowledge of the era, I can just about be sentimental about a soda stream but given that ours was used to make fizzy water only (no fake cola syrup allowed) I can only really reminisce about the fact I used to kick mine over so I didn’t have to drink it. I remember being given a Rainbow Brite cardboard puppet thing. Sadly I had no idea what Rainbow Brite was so instead of using her to restore colour to the universe ( I googled) she and the rest of the colour kids mainly spent their time pretending to go to the shops or out on their bikes.

But I didn’t know what I was missing, all it means is now I sit through a few reminiscing type conversations going “I haven’t seen it”. And I have absolutely no desire at all to be educated. There are films you watch at a certain time in your life and love and then when you watch it again it’s the nostalgia you’re enjoying, not the film. I don’t make people watch Peter’s Friends as I know it is awful, I however remember watching it when I was 13 and thinking it was great. Crushes on both Hugh Laurie and Kenneth Branagh helped.

I did however manage to watch Mannequin which was a triumph in itself as I am terrified of mannequins, my real fear being that they are going to come to life. On reflection this might not have been the film for me. But I was a brave soldier and it was alright. I particularly enjoyed their hair. But I don’t really want to spend my free time now watching films that I should have seen when I was 8. What’s the point? I don’t feel the need to go to Disneyland, own a horse or wear a boiler suit (my other ambitions when I was 8) so why watch the films? Also surely I’d spend my time in a constant state of catch-up. Watching this years new releases in 2014 as I was so busy in 2007 watching films from 1988. Too confusing.

So I shall continue to be left out of nostalgia. However if any of you have read and enjoyed the following please let me know. It would be like nostalgia for deprived gimps. : The Shrinking of Treehorn, any books by Michelle Magorian, When Hitler Stole the Pink Rabbit and Trebizon. Thank you.