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Monday 9 November 2015

We Faced the Music - Sunday Night Results Show

As sure as night follows day. A result show must follow a night of distinctly mediocre karaoke. Here come the judges. They all look fine. Except Rita. She is dressed as Celine Dion at the Oscars. Nick could stand to do a few buttons up. 
Now it's time for the best part of the night. The Group Song. This week it's something 'very special for Rememberance Sunday'. Also translated as 'something horrific with members of the armed forces made to stand on stage'. They sing 'Fix You'. Which includes the lyrics 'Could it be worse?' Well I could be there live and not have access to a mute button. All the contestants are trying hard to show just how much they care. This unfortunately has the affect of making them look like they care about nothing other than themselves. 
There follows an endless recap. Please immediately re-read the previous post. For once the recap is handy. I had completely forgotten about the existence of Kiera. Probably won't be a problem for much longer. 
Fleur East performs. I didn't watch the X Factor last year so I have no idea who she is but she came second and now she's back to prove she's a pop star and perform for the judges and show the contestants what they could one day be. Much like returning to your old school. Although you don't have to go back to your old school in a glittery leotard and gyrate on the teacher's desk. She's very good. Oddly obsessed by sax. Is this something from last year or a recent development? 
Then Cee-Lo Green sings. That must have been a proud day in the bookings department. He's wearing a onesie made of flowers and looks like Babarpapa. I can't understand a word he is singing. Apart from 'woah'. It's something about fried eggs being music to his soul. He also has some contestants from Double Dare as his backing singers. Least he's enjoying himself. It's worth noting that he's the only celebrity I've seen who's gone to the effort of remembering ONE of the contestants names. So when he's asked who he likes he can say a name. Rather than mumbling that he likes them all. Well done Cee-Lo. 



Finally it's the results. Bottom three are Kiera, Mason and Seann. Seann? Kiera is swiftly dispatched without even a best of. Think of it as a blessing Kiera. You would have been made to sing 'Sweat (lalala long) whilst wearing salopettes if you'd stayed in much longer. 

The sing off is between Mason and Seann. Mason sings 'End of the Road' in annoying wobbly voice while his best bits play in the background. Sorry appears in large letters. Just go. 

Nick sobs. 

Seann sings a song I have only heard on talent shows. He shits all over Mason. Not literally that would be a staging decision too far. 
Simon sends Mason home. 
Cheryl sends Mason home. 
Rita remembers to make it interesting and sends Seann home
Nick has a breakdown and sends it to deadlock. 
Bye Sean. The only interesting talent in the whole thing. 

Rita and Nick are going to be told off by Uncle Simon. 

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